The Girlfriend To No One

I mailed this anonymously to Realitybiteswithkendamsel with the motives of sharing some provoking thoughts I believed bothers not only me.
If anyone had told me that a time in a woman's life would come when she would be the one looking for her man. I would had at least considered it true even if I wouldn't agreed to such statement.
Be yourself and the right man will find you so they say,but,I didn't expect at 27 am still finding the right man.
Be the Woman you want your Man to be,so have heard and read.
That to a very large extent is reasonable.
Our modern world or better still the actualization of our true meaning has gone beyond seeing ourselves as just a housewife.
We were told to be independent,self opinionated,career driven,smart and strong as if we are inherently weak. Feminism or whatever its called is not my problem right now.

Most times I primp in the mirror,looking inwardly at my reflection,I would just smile,more of what seems like a smirk."How can you think you know so well and couldn't get yourself a man". A thought would strike.
Thank goodness we are caught up in the 'Busy craze' than admitting feeling lonely on a Friday night.

The last time I paid home a visit, big uncle asked "when are you bringing your Man home".My response of "he will come soon" sounds so sheepish even to my hearing. Who is the he? When will he come really?. I don't know if am to answer such rhetorics.
Sometimes I have felt like its useless looking for true Love. For I can't exactly tell you what it is. Even Shakespeare refused to define it. But I can simply tell you what I want- a mutual loving partnership in which we both express a permanent commitment refraining from premarital sex with Christ being our alter ego,making our utmost goal marriage.
Is that too much to ask?
Perhaps the reason behind my not finding.
Well I couldn't just imagine wasting time with seemingly unserious relationship I have had myself in.
The ones I felt a special zing for are emotionally unavailable and the ones on my chase are simply boys claiming to be men. God forbids I waste my wait to wail.
Who knows? I might have shook myself in the butt.
Am I too picky?Too selfish?Too noncommittal?Too busy?Too overwhelmed with options or just all of the above. I can't tell though.
How well, I am fit, well educated, versatile, spiritually nourished, attractive, self aware, independent, strong willed,and socially active partially. Of course ain't without faults.

When another wedding bell clap rings it tings the stings of dings.
You will always feel like a wet mouse when it seems everyone around you are getting it down the aisle even on a shot gun weddings no matter how independent and strong you are.

One thing I begged God for is to give me enough strength to hold on and never let desperation get its hold on me.
I prayed never to miss it in that regards.
We will all find something to distract ourselves from brooding over single frustration. So I dipped myself in building myself and other people around me.
Perhaps my man will come. Just perhaps...
Hope really just has a way of whispering "Look up to me".
As much as I wouldn't want to accept the truism that am the one looking out for a man,
I remain The Girlfriend To No One who aspire to be the wife of Someone...

Thank you anonymous mailer...

That is indeed thought stricken.
Marriage is a choice and its a no wrong to choose to be married.
To be or not to be does not break or make us.
However,there's a no right man or woman. We are just human trying or willing to change our wrongs for Right.
We all know what we want. Simple definition of it and wanting no less of it is never too much to ask neither is it building castle in the air on fictitious desire.

Abstinence from premarital sex is not equal to good marriage. It is never the ultimate to getting the right spouse or not.
We don't zip up to earn a good husband,not even to be seen as a faithful future spouse.
We don't earn the blessing of marriage because we love God more. God's grace only is sufficient for that.
When dating is defined,abuse of it is evitable.
Hope doesn't get weary. So all hope is not lost.
There's a man out there who will make the wait worth waiting.
Nevertheless, we cannot seize to stop bettering our life. It has nothing to do with getting the right Man at all.

Sometimes God will make you wait to prevent you from wail. He will never just give His children what they don't deserve.
For its all about what we deserve that matters to Him.
The best you want will come just when you need it most.
When you refused to settle for less,hell will be for less...

Its as Real as Real.

Realitybiteswithkendamsel